Barely Alive

A poem by Hans Kristofer Luke Mariano

“Do you know how many
times you have killed me?
Do you know how many
times you’ve slit my throat
yet I still kept on saying all
of my unacknowledged feelings
inside me
even if each word means
I’d be inflicted with great
excruciating pain?
Do you know
how you’ve managed
to pull my heart
out of my chest
each time I am
tormented by the thought
that I am just
another name for you
and haunted
by the fact that you think
I am not
good enough for you?
Do you know how you’ve
intoxicated my veins with your
solicitude and
poisonous hypocrisy;
of how you were able to
deceive me and let you
flow inside my system?
Do you know how many times
you have stabbed me
and I just started to feel numb
of all the agony
you have shoved unto
my skin
that even if years have passed
the wounds dealt by my
own shortcomings won’t
decay?
Do you know how I gasp
after you strangled me
out of breath
and how I would resist just
to breathe the air
from your lungs again?
There are so many times
that I wish your love can
keep me alive
But still, I keep on dying
each day
and it is all because
I am willing
to lose my life
just for you to give
me a little
bit of your heart
Now, do you know how much
you have killed me?”

________

Retrieved from https://hellopoetry.com/penitentdysphoric/

 

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